Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Identity Crisis

Ah can you guys believe June is over?? That's what I'm talkin bout! Nothing against June, but I need some change. Things feel stagnant and I want to move.

I feel like I'm going through some sort of early-life crisis over here. I'm really pissed off that my teen years are over. I feel like I wasted them, and I want them back! I keep thinking that once I graduate I won't have the same freedom I have now. I'll have to adhere to workplace dress codes and pay bills. College is perfect. I can dye my hair, get a tattoo, or walk around with my ass hanging out of my shorts and what does anyone care? I'm a crazy kid, it's a great excuse!

But I spent my teens doing nothing that only teens can do. I didn't rebel. I didn't dye my hair a crazy color, get a tattoo, skip school, or try drugs. I made straight A's and stayed home every night. Like what kind of poor excuse for a teenager was I? Now that I'm facing the "real world" I'm fucking terrified. I want to do something crazy like get drunk and vandalize some property, I don't know. I'll never get a chance to again.

I know that there are good and bad things that come with every stage in life, and that living with my boyfriend in a new city, having a carrier, eventually getting married, picking out a house, and having kids will all come with rewards of their own, and sometimes I'm excited for the things I see when I look ahead.

But right now I want to be a kid just a little longer.

In other news, I spent a few hours making a new floral crown and some cool new bracelets! I found these cheesy charms at the craft store that had "lol" and "omg" stamped on them, so I'm real excited about those!

All the little old ladies at Hobby Lobby were side-eyeing my bare mid drift. I was like dudes I don't judge you and your Vera Bradley, Imma dress how I want! Why do people want to control how you live your life?

I've been in an anxious place these past few weeks. I'm trying to remember how I got myself out of this funk before, and I'm hoping things are going to start looking up!

crop top, necklace: forever 21
plaid shirt, shorts: thrifted
spike bracelet: target

While I was taking pictures I heard this loud rustling behind me and a big old jackrabbit busted out from the underbrush! It scared the crap outta me, but luckily I caught my reaction face on camera:

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  1. You look awesome with the crop top, you know that?? Who cares what old ladies think!! And I know what you mean, I kind of wish I had been a little crazier when I had the chance... but then I remind myself that I wouldn't have such great opportunities that I do now if I had goofed off in the past :)


  2. I'm so glad June is over, too! I definitely got my rebellion and experimenting out when I was younger, and while I don't regret it, I feel like I wasted all these years doing unproductive things. I still like chilling out and having a few beers/drinks, but most of my friends are party animals and it gets REALLY old. You can still get tattoos and dye your hair though! Haha. I love the outfit by the way!

    <3 Kelsey
    Be Like The Fox

  3. Your top and flower crown are especially amazing.

  4. Haha your reaction face is the best! I LOVE it! You look gorgeous :) I was never very rebellious either but I don't know, I never felt the need to be?

  5. Oh Rachel, you are what? 20? You still have time to be crazy and whatever if you want. You don't suddenly become an "adult" (though, yes, I suppose certain jobs might not want you to dye your hair and at some age a little more covering up is preferable but even what you want). That said, I don't know... society seems to perpetuate this idea that certian activities are needed and part of certain ages and certian things will be fun at those times... but jut because something else is fun to someone else doesn't mean that it will be to you. Those As will serve you far better too. Find what makes you happy at any age- which means you shouldn't ever feel afraid to do something a bit wild in your eyes or to feel guilty about not wanting to do those things.

    Also- you look rockin' in that crop top. Clearly that was what those ladies were in awe of- how awesome you really looked in this!

  6. I know how you feel! I feel I am going through a quater life crisis! I am only 25 but that feels far too old for fun! Not true of course!!!!