Anxiety and a Nice Dress

Okay, I'm gonna level with you guys. This week has been incredibly stressful. I've been a walking anxiety attack since Monday.

The worst part was my night class, because the teacher is awful. He spent the evening making fun of students and telling crude stories (because you know a teacher is cool if he curses). I don't want to hear about the time you peed on your friend's sleeping bag as a joke, thank you, not to mention how unprofessional that is. He really crossed a line from unpleasant to unacceptable when he told a story about how he made a girl cry in class. He "made the mistake of asking her what's wrong. You never ask a woman what's wrong because then she'll start sobbing. Turns out she was mentally unstable and medicated lololol" Yeah even if he wasn't basically bashing my entire demographic with that line, labelling women as hysterical and laughing about mental illness is not fucking okay. I left the class sweaty and shaking and have been anxious ever since. 

This really isn't fun to talk about, and I don't like admitting my weaknesses (on my fashion blog) publicly, but the whole experience really triggered my anxiety disorder and all week the old symptoms have been coming in waves. It really hasn't been this bad since I went up for Specialization Review and learned I had GAD in the first place.

Luckily, Wednesday's class went a lot better (if it hadn't I was prepared to report his ass). It seems like the guy is annoying in general, but tolerable as long as he's not talking to you about his life or opinions... so I'm feeling better right now.

I also found out that my elective, which I thought was on advertising, is on journalism, which I have no clue about. Haha we'll see if I'm any good at on-screen interviews and opinion pieces! There are a multitude of other stressers that have been bugging me this week (and that wouldn't have effected me so badly if it weren't for my anxiety), but I'll keep them to myself in an effort to look on the positive side. I will say that my  thesis photoshoot is Saturday and I'm nervous as hell! I hope it all goes well.

I got this pretty new backpack for Christmas and I'm excited to carry it around school this semester. Unfortunately, it doesn't fit my camera. :(

Dress: Dear Creatures

Tights: Target

Cardigan, Shoes: Thrifted

Backpack: Hershel

Anyway, here's to my next post being a more positive one!! (And I wish I could get this damn pink to stay in my hiar!)

Sass > Class

I'm heading back to campus tomorrow. So here are some pictures of me being sassy in my stunna shades (dollar tree chic) to brighten at least my mood.

Idk if you remember my little DIY cage skirt here, but I wore it once back in the Fall. One of the horizontal elastics hit me straight across the boobs and it looked a little too bondage (a little too ill-fitting bondage). So I took the top one off and now it's more of a modified suspender skirt. It'll def get some more wear now!

Gahh I have such a busy week coming up. I mean, there's the whole back to school thing, and then I'm doing a photoshoot for my senior thesis next Saturday! I'm so freakin nervous, I want everything to go perfectly! I'll be sharing some of it on Instagram, so follow me there if you want to see!

Other big news in my life: Travis is home from Italy!! I'm so glad we're in the same time zone again. It was such a hassle, I left to pick him up at the Columbia airport, where he was supposed to fly in from Charlotte, but they made him go through customs a second time and he missed his flight! I had to turn around and drive up to Charlotte, and then we had to go to Columbia to get his luggage (which hadn't arrived). I wanted to stay with him longer, but I had to come home to get my tires changed. :P Lamest ever.

Shirt: Old Navy

Sweater: Forever 21

Skirt: Forever 21 + DIY

Shoes: Urban Outfitters

Sunglasses: Dollar Tree

Pink(er)

I repinked! I bleached it again, then I mixed a darker dye this time and left it on for 16 (!!) hours, so I'm hoping it'll last longer this time! It fades from pink to peach because I just can't get rid of that orange on my hair from the multiple auburn dyes I used over the past year. I also had my Mom give me a trim last night, so I'm practically a whole new woman now!

And I've completely forgotten how to dress myself. Not that I don't like this outfit, I think it's fine, but I went through about 10 different combinations before I decided to wear this. I just don't know what I want.

In other news, Travis comes back from Italy tomorrow and I'm picking him up at the airport. I'm really excited for him to be back! We're gonna eat a pizza and then snuggle. It's supposed to be like 8 degrees here tomorrow night! That's gotta be considered cold, even for people who don't live in the South, right?

I get a week more of break before I have to go back for my last semester. Omg.

This dress is probs the best pattern I own. It's strapless, but I want summer dressing back so I wore it anyway, under some layers. It's been gathering dust lately because the boning in the bodice was starting to wear through and get bent out of shape. So I just removed it with a seam ripper and it's tons better now!

Dress, Tights: Target

Vest, Collared Shirt, Cardigan: Goodwill

Necklace: Forever 21

Shoes: Target + DIY

I've been watching a lot of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Charlie <33) and sitting around in an art rut, so I'm determined to actually paint something today. No excuses.

PS. LimeCrime Velvetines are just as good as everyone says. Little drying perhaps, and come off when you eat greasy things, but still. I'm wearing Suedeberry here.

Orange

My Dahlia dress finally came! It was meant to be a Christmas present, but it didn't arrive until the 30th. I'm so glad it's here now! So it's definitely more of a summer dress (that's why it was on sale lolol), but I can still wear it in December, look at me go! I only took off the jacket to show off the pretty back, I promise I put it right back on.

It's the first dress that I've liked with my weird orange transitional hair. I look like a giant creamsicle! I'm going to re bleach and pink it soon. Waiting a month between bleachings is kosher, right?

Check the bokeh! ^^ I finally figured out how to change the Fstop on my camera. I had it confused with aperature or exposure or something and to be fair, there's not a button for it.

This Christmas break is drawing to a close pretty quickly! Travis comes back from Europe on the 6th, and then I go back to school on the 13th. I def need to get some stuff done before I regret wasting my entire break away.

Ahh look at the back of this dress! So pretty!! I can't wait to wear this in the summer.

I def wore it on NYE though, I don't have a single sparkly item in my closet!

Dress: Dahlia

Tights: Target

Jacket, Belt, Shoes: Thrifted

The New Year

Happy New Year, everyone!

I love this time of year because I love new beginnings. I get real excited periodically throughout the year, looking to reinvent myself and expecting change, so New Years just makes it more official for me haha. I know some people don't like the idea of resolutions, but I am not one of them-I like lists and I like feeling inspired and I always want to be better (at everything).
I've really enjoyed reading through all the 2013 retrospectives that have been posted this week, but I'm going to save my favorite outfits for my blogiversary in February. Instead I just wanted to reflect on the past and the future, for me mostly, but you're welcome to read along.

Looking back on an entire year is kind of mind boggling for me. It's hard to pick out the major life events from the huge mess. Thank god I have a blog to document it all, am I right? Here are some things that happened in rough chronological order:

-I opened my Etsy store, and I'm so proud of myself for how successful it's been! There were a few slow months that got me kind of down, but I really have high hopes for it this year. Thanks to everyone who's made a purchase!
-I decided not to work retail over the summer, which was a really good decision for me, since working at the mall was a huge source of my anxiety.
-I celebrated by 1st blogiversary, and my 2nd anniversary dating Travis.

-One of my pieces was published in my school's art and literature magazine, and iconnoumag published some of my art.

-I dyed my hair bright red. It's weird looking at pictures of me with brown hair now, I feel like I'm really a red head at heart :)

-I got to visit the Grand Canyon! Seriously breathtaking, I'm so glad my family got to go.

-I got an internship doing graphic design at my Mom's work! Although I'm not sure office work is my calling, it was a really great experience, and I'm so lucky that I can put it on my resume.
-I turned 21 and started drinking (seriously I never drank before).
-I went on a road trip to Boston for a Science Fiction Convention.
-I became friends with my boyfriend's friends.

-I had a beach day.

-I bleached my hair! How's that for courage?

-Then I went back to a bob and dyed it pink. The year of hair experimentation for sure.
-I hung my first gallery show.

-My art changed a lot, and my focus shifted from more naturey scenes to girl-power portraits. I still really love the children's booky work I did in 2012, and I'd like to find a way to combine it with this new feminist stuff I'm doing. Side note: I've been told I look like my paintings before, but dang, this one is practically a self portrait at this point! And I did it back in June!
-I actually made some money and was the most self-sufficient I've ever been.

I may or may not have used facebook's year in review to aid in recollection for this... I swear some of the things they picked for me (A throwback of my from middle school, holla)!

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. I also struggled a lot with anxiety and a little with depression. I had relationship troubles and I was insecure sometimes. But I think it was more good than bad, and that's important.

2014 promises to be a big year, huge even. I'm going to finish my senior thesis project, and graduate in May. Then I'm going to Italy for a month with Travis, and I'll be moving out towards the end of the summer. I don't even know where we're going yet, as it depends on what grad schools offer Travis the most money! I'll have to get a job and support myself in a new city. I'm going to have to say goodbye to my college friends and see my family a lot less often. I'm scared and excited. As far as resolutions go, I plan to:
1. Keep up my work outs.
2. Be more positive. Complain less.
3. Relationships take work. I'm going to think before I speak and be more patient with the people I love.
4. Make more art!
5. Be strong and work hard. A lot of change is coming my way.

Here's to the New Year!

Explorer

I wasn't planning on taking pictures on this day, but then I saw that the creek had flooded from our recent rainy days. I was like oooooooooh I can wear my galoshes and wade out there it'll be so cool socool! It was pretty cool, but I got a little cocky and went too far out... and had to walk back to the house with water in my shoes.

I had packed this dress away for winter ((neatly thrown on the floor of my closet)) because it's so light and summery, but if you'll notice, I'm bare legged in these shots. SC is throwing us these warm weather curveballs mid December. I wish I could say I'm not used to it, but that's just kindof how winters go around here. I keep seeing all you northerners and westerners in your snowy shots and I'm kinda jealous I won't be getting a white Christmas! And I'm afraid my hair is no longer pink by any stretch of the imagination.

In other news, my Dad's semi-homeless friend and his brother (from when we lived in VA 15 years ago) came and spent the night last night. Pretty weird sitch, but I always liked them, they're nice guys. They brought their dogs, too, much to Kit's disappointment!

I also put a filter on these... just messing around. I don't know what I want my style to be these days.

Dress, Cardigan: Thrifted

Boots: JuJu

Scarf: Knit by my sister