I love driving. Some of my favorite moments have been in the front seat with the windows down and the music blaring. I was driving home this weekend in the gorgeous it's-basically-summer weather and just loving how green the grass looked. "I want to pull over and feel that grass on my toes," I thought. So I did!
You shoulda seen me, running through some random field in front of my tripod with no shoes on. I felt completely free.
On the topic of freedom and running around happy in the grass, I thought I'd share some personal stuff with you guys. I've been dealing with anxiety disorder for about 2 years now. (GASP) No really, I've seen like 5 fashion bloggers come clean about this recently, and well, now I am too. Anxiety (along with depression) is one of the most commonly diagnosed disorders. I've heard it called the "common cold" of the brain.
My anxiety began fall semester of sophomore year (that's 2011) when I had to prepare for SPR. That's a big portfolio review design majors have to go through at my school, and basically everyone and their brother was stressed about it. I got to where I would obsess over the possibility of failure constantly, and I was miserable. The real problem, though, was that my anxiety lasted long after I passed the test. I spent a lot of my time nervous for seemingly no reason, afraid to socialize with people, angry at everyone (including myself), and had a variety of other icky symptoms like diarrhea, panic attacks, sleep paralysis, and some bouts with depression.
Over the course of the past year, I've seen a couple therapists, who helped me keep my anxiety under control and taught me some techniques to talk myself down. And I've really been doing so, so much better! I still get the occasional panicky moments, but I handle them a lot better now, and I'm much more positive of a person.
I wanted to share this all with you because I'm really proud of my progress. Everyone has issues that they don't like to talk about because they want to be perfect (I know I do), and anxiety is just something I'm going to have to deal with. Days like today are more and more frequent for me, and I'm so excited for myself and my future!
I also read an article recently about how instagram and facebook showcase people's best moments, making it seem like they all have perfect lives, when that's just not true. I like to show off my cute clothes and my art and my fun times with friends, but I omit the darker parts of my life. Everyone has them, and they're nothing to be ashamed of, right? Right.
I made my dress, the sunglasses are from penny's, the spike necklace and shoes are from modcloth, and the unicorn necklace (that is twisted up in all the pictures) is from forever 21.
